That Poisonous Thing Called Love
by Rebeka-Chan
Summary: Zim finds Dib's weak spot... LOVE! Zim tries to ruin Dib's chances with a girl he likes with one of his inventions. But something goes wrong and Dib is turned into a girl! What happens when Zim begins to like the new girl-like Dib? ZADR later in story.
1. The Prelude Chapter

Rebeka-Chan: Hello everyone this is your host, Rebeka-Chan speaking!!! Megumi: -_-' um. actually Rebeka-chan, you're not SPEAKING. you're TYPING. Rebeka-chan: *does anime fall & gets up quickly* WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE?! *face gets red with anger and frustration* *grabs a piece of paper and rips it up with teeth and then starts stomping it like a psychotic person who's had too many anti-depressants* OOOOH!!! I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THIS STUFF!!! *eyes are on fire* DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!!!! Megumi: o_O' *sweat drop* Um. anyways. here's her fanfic. better read it. *looks over at the raging Rebeka who is now ripping the couch apart* .or she might do something worse. Rebeka-chan: *sees Megumi's cat* Here kitty kitty kitty. *Tries to set cat on fire* Megumi: *runs to stop Rebeka* HEY!!! WHAT DID FLUFFY EVER DO TO YOU?! HUH?!! *looks at audience who is now in a state of shock* like I said. better read and review it. *points to Rebeka* She's going crazy!!!  
  
That Poisonous Thing Called Love  
  
Zim impatiently paced back and forth in his underground laboratory waiting for GIR to meet him there. He smiled when he began to think about the new discovery he had observed just the other day. He began to laugh a little at the image that played in his mind of Dib at his knees at the mercy of a girl. He was so lost in his thinking that he didn't see GIR come in.  
  
"GIR at your services, master!" GIR saluted in a sloppy manner. Zim jumped up at the sudden outburst and ended up clinging onto the ceiling. He saw that it was only GIR, his dumb yet lovable little robot, and slowly climbed down.  
  
"GIR!! Do you not understand the concept of BEING QUIET??!!" GIR, being completely oblivious that Zim was mad, just smiled cutely and said "Yes sir!"  
  
Zim wasn't amused. He let out a long emphasized sigh and began to talk to GIR in a low voice. "GIR, I have made a very important discovery that I have been observing these past few days. It has to do with our arch enemy, Dib. GIR sat and scratched his head. Zim began to pace the room again. He smiled mischievously. "Oh yes. it seems that Dib does indeed have a weak point. oh yes, and THIS time, I know how to keep him out of my way for good!"  
  
GIR got excited. "Really!!?" Then GIR frowned and became quiet. "You're not going to take away my rubber pig again. are you?"  
  
Zim ignored him and continued with his scheming. "What I saw a few days ago. was the Dib-human acting very odd towards another girl. he was really shaky and nervous. I have studied this a little further and have come to the conclusion that Dib is either violently allergic to the other earth- girl and she makes him sweat and stutter. or. he has a case of this. thing, called, love." Zime pondered for a moment, while GIR started to bounce around the room singing the "Doom song".  
  
Zim got out a dictionary. "It says here in this earth-stink dictionary that love is "A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance." Zim spat in disgust and scrunched up his green face. "The human beasts are more disgusting then I thought!" He slammed the book shut and turned to GIR with a satisfying smile.  
  
"GIR, do you know what this means? THIS is his weakness! If he is in "love" then there are MANY ways that he can be brought to his knees." Zim rubbed his hands together evilly. 


	2. Chapter 1: The Fun Begins

Hey guys!! Sorry about the Prelude, I wasn't going to make it so short. but well you know how things go. actually I was in the library typing it on the computer and the librarian popped her head in and said they were closing so I paniced and just left it at Zim rubbing his hands together evilly. ^_^ but you forgive me right? Anyways I'd like to thank all those cool people who just reviewed my story; Spellcastre: thank you!! This is my first Zim fic yet. so it can only get better I guess ^_^. Priestess-Loralit: I'm glad you liked it, and I just spontaneously thought of it, so it's still a work in progress. And for the questions that Peplos Kore1 asked (which by the way was really confusing at first ^_^ lol I had to read it a few times to get it. actually. I still am a little confused), I'll try my best to answer them. heh heh. sorry about the author's note last time I was in one of my crazy moods. and yes GIR is annoying sometimes. poor Zim. And no, in this fanfic it doesn't really matter who the girl is I guess I'll give her a name and a personality but I'm not going to go deep into it that much since she'll be pretty much out of the story after Dib is turned into a girl. And the statement about how Zim thought that human relationships to be "pain- based" that is a very good point and I liked it. but I don't really know what else to say becuz I've only seen part of "Tak, the hideous new girl" *sweatdrop* sorry. Anyways. look at me wasting your time.. go on and read the next chapter!! ^_^  
  
THAT POISONOUS THING CALLED LOVE  
  
The next day in skool, Zim watched Dib carefully during lunch time. What Zim saw actually kind of scared him. And since Zim has no friends, he started talking quietly to himself.  
  
"Hmmmm. This is quite interesting. This girl seems to have him controlled. What could this mean? Is she strong? Does the Dib-beast fear her.?" Zim shuddered thinking about how an angry irken female was like on his planet. ".But the Dib-human seems to WANT to be around her. so that means. my assumptions are correct!!" Zim jumped up he was so excited. People stared at him awkwardly and he realized all the attention he was bringing to himself, and he sat down and continued to observe Dib.  
  
Dib smiled dumbly to the red-haired girl he was talking to. He started to sweat a little and his voice became quieter. He mustered up all his courage and finally, spoke to her.  
  
"Um. Cindy.?" The girl turned around with a sweet summery smile on her face. Dib began to stutter and look down. He could feel his face turning a shade of pink. The girl waited patiently and raised an eyebrow at the awkward looking Dib. He tried speaking again and he could feel his throat swell up a little. "I was. uh. wondering. If you. um. um. wanted to. uh."  
  
She looked at him strangly. "If I wanted to. what?"  
  
Dib looked away and quickly said "If-you-wanted-to-hang-out-later-on-today- or-something-but-if-you're-busy-then-that's-okay-I'll-just-go-home-and-"  
  
She cut him off. "Um. Dib, you're babbling. And, sorry but, I have ballet practice after school and stuff. but." She looked around quickly at her lunch table that she sat and and she hastily grabbed her friend. ".but Susie here would LOVE to hang out with you today.!" Her friend token by surprise began to say something about going to her dad's later when Dib interrupted her and said quietly, "Oh. It's okay. um. nevermind, I'll just.. Uh talk to you later."  
  
He walked away quickly and he could tell that his face was a burning crimson red. He walked by Zim, not even noticing that he was observing him. Dib sat down next to his sister and started talking. Gaz, of course wasn't really listening, until he said "girl" and "like" in the same sentence. She looked at him a little alarmed but said nothing and dumped her tray on him like usual. Dib sighed. ".I wish somebody would just listen to me." he glanced over at Cindy and she was laughing with her friends. He smiled and let out another sigh. "I think I'm in love." he said dreamily.  
  
Zim was watching him the whole time and his eyes got wider with everything he saw Dib do. "What a pathetic fool that Dib-beast is. She doesn't even like him, and he still is following her." Zim laid back and thought for a moment. "Now if I just figured out how I could use this weakness to my advantage." He suddenly jumped out of his seat again, but this time nobody bothered to look. "AHA!!! THAT'S IT!!!" Zim decided he would talk about this later in his lab.  
  
As the day progressed he saw that not only was Dib following the girl, but he was writing letters and passing notes to her during class as well. All of them, which, Cindy threw away and ignored. Dib didn't seem to mind at all though, and he kept doing it until Ms. Bitters gave Dib a detention and told him he was doomed. Then she took the note and tried to read it out loud. "Dear Cindy. you're eyes are. petty.? What the heck is this Dib? I can't read you're writing. you are doomed! Stay after school for detention with me! Or you will be doomed some more and you'll feel my wrath!!" Dib sunk into his chair and his face was redder than a tomato. Dib wasn't embarresed because he had gotten a detention.. He was embarrassed because Ms. Bitters had read his poem all wrong. he didn't think her eyes were "petty". no no, he thought that they were pretty!!!  
  
"Great now she'll think I don't like her because I think her eyes are petty!! Oh! I'd do anything just for her to like me!!" Dib said to himself. Nobody else heard him. Except Zim. And Zim had an awful evil plan brewing in that green head of his.  
  
After skool, Zim rushed to his house and flushed himself down the toilet into his underground lab. "GIR!!! Get down here!!" GIR whinned.  
  
"Awwwww!!! But piggy and me loves to watch the monkey!! He's a scary monkey, scary, scary!" Zim narrowed his eyes and pushed a little yellow button and the couch GIR was sitting on dropped him down through a tube and into the lab. "Hey. where'd scary monkey go!! Piggy loves monkey!"  
  
Zim ignored him and ranted on about Dib's foolishness. And then he got an idea. "He'd do ANYTHING to get her to like him." He smiled. "YES!! I HAVE A PLAN!!! HE WILL NOW SUFFER BECAUSE HE HAS ALWAYS STOPPED ME FROM GETTING WHAT I WANT AND NOW I'LL MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO GET WHAT HE WANTS!!! YES!! IT'S BRILLIANT!!!" Zim's crazy laughter shook the house and GIR laughed dumbly with him, even though he had no clue why he was laughing.  
  
Zim turned to the computer and pushed a few buttons. "Computer how long will it take to create a laser beam shooter 5000 equipped with love inducing hormones?" The computer made lots of beeps and noises and printed out a slip of paper that said "4.618907 earth hours". Zim tapped his foot as he read the calculations. "Okay! Let's begin then!! Tommorrow I shall unleash my creation!! And that stupid Dib-human-stink will be on his knees for every girl!! He will become. A LOVE SLAVE!!!" He laughed evilly and lightning struck outside and thunder boomed throughout the night.  
  
GIR went cross-eyed from all the laughter. 


End file.
